Why is nobody talking about PSA and PSD? Why are stroke survivors left in the dark about these far-too-common conditions? And why isn’t mental health therapy prioritized for stroke survivors?
It’s estimated that nearly half of all stroke survivors will experience depression following their strokes, and nearly one in four of us will suffer from anxiety. These conditions can strike anytime after a stroke. Mine showed up about eight weeks into my recovery as I was trying to go back to work. The stress of the daily grind was a contributing factor, but the stroke is what caused my issues. I was unprepared for the havoc they’d wreak on my life, and the inevitable crisis I would find myself in.
About two months after I returned to work, I had what I call my “nervous breakdown.” I lost my grip on reality and couldn’t perform the easiest of tasks without panicking. I found myself dreading each day, and feeling lost and broken. Sometimes I’d end up in the fetal position at the bottom of the stairs, wishing it would all just go away. That someone or something would put me out of my misery. I often wondered why I survived the stroke only to be left hating my life and wishing I hadn’t survived.
One scary night, I even considered taking my own life. I had three amazing teenagers at the time, a loving and supportive husband, and a strong and happy family. I had so much to live for, yet in that moment, I just wanted to end it all. I thought my family would be better off without the burden of me. But my brain was lying to me! Thankfully, in that moment, I thought, “this is not my legacy. Ending my own life is not the legacy I want to leave behind.” And I chose to let myself live instead, despite how painful life had become.
I was fortunate that I could seek (and afford) mental health therapy, which was my only saving grace. I received crisis intervention services, twice, by being admitted to in-patient mental health facilities. Those stays helped get my through each immediate crisis, but the real work started when I entered into an intensive outpatient program (IOP) for anxiety and depression. It was a six-week, three-days-a-week, for three hours at a time, program that gave me the tools and resources to manage my mental health. If I hadn’t gone through that program, I’m not sure where I’d be today.
While I’m not a professional therapist, I’m grateful I can share my lessons and learnings by coaching other stroke survivors to live their best lives and unleash their own legacies. Because we survived for a reason. It’s up to us to uncover that reason and work toward building a great life in support of it. I never want another stroke survivor to suffer like I did—feeling alone and scared when the post-stroke mental fallout hit me like a ton of bricks.
It is my sincere hope that stroke rehabilitation centers will recognize the prevalence of PSA and PSD and add mental health therapy into their rehab regimens. If we can get ahead of these conditions to spot the early warning signs, perhaps we can keep stroke survivors from falling into a deep hole of despair.